The Wheel Has Come Full Circle
by ilovetvalot
Summary: In the aftermath of Caroline's death, can Rossi and JJ find their way back to each other? Sometimes even the greatest lovers need a push by Cupid. Part of the Shakespeare Universe. Follows "Hasten to Their End". Multi-chap
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hi guys! The FINAL voting process is well underway for the Second Annual Profiler's Choice Criminal Minds Awards hosted by Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Links can be found on our profiler pages. Please come on over and take a look at this year's incredibly talented nominees and their stories. Two random voters (that vote in ten categories or more) will be selected to receive gift cards from Amazon. com at the completion of this year's awards. So, take a moment and join the fun. Please PM us with any questions.**

_**And don't forget that we've got quite the collection of fellow authors and readers interfacing over at Facebook. Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" and/or "Tonnie Fanfiction" to join in the fun. Periodic announcements regarding our awards and ongoing work are announced there.**_

_**Thanks to everyone that continues to read, review, favorite and alert our work! You guys are incredible and we love hearing from each one of you!**_

_**Also, if anyone has any threads they would like to see opened at the forum, please let us know!**_

_**This story is a post-ep for "Epilogue" and part of the Shakespeare series. It follows "Hasten to Their End".**_

**OH! And please check out the newest forum article by Kricket Williams, "The Art of the Tactful Review". It's at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner".**

* * *

**The Wheel Has Come Full Circle**

**Chapter One**

Whoever it was that said that time healed all wounds was a bastard.

Time was a capricious and cruel taskmaster, destroying lives and memories without a thought. Time took cruel enjoyment in raking up once-closed injuries and bringing them roaring back to the surface without rhyme or reason.

Time was his enemy. In more than one way.

David Rossi had prided himself in being able to deal with his past, to handle the challenges that life had thrown his way. He had successfully navigated the pitfalls along the way and managed to climb to higher ground.

Or so he thought he had. But he had been wrong. Now, he found himself sinking deeper and deeper into the miry memories that were sucking at him with quicksand-like efficiency.

And to add insult to injury, his mind insisted on weaving his past and his present, his losses multiplied in a manner he would have never thought imaginable. He had lost two women who he had loved entirely too early. He had lost two sons….one that he knew for only a day but had held in his heart for years. The other, one that he had known for months but intended to keep for a lifetime.

The road to hell was paved with good intentions. He should know…he was currently the lone traveler on that pathway.

His self-introspection settled heavier against him as he leaned back in his office chair. He had been completely useless this morning, his focus on his thoughts rather than the case file in front of him. It had been a week since Caroline's death, and he had thought that he was moving forward once again.

But he was deluding himself. Again.

Pulled from his melancholy thoughts by a knock on the door, Dave glanced up, hoping that maybe, just maybe, JJ had sought him out. "Come in," he called gruffly, holding his breath as the door opened and Aaron's familiar face filled the void.

"Oh," Dave muttered. "It's you."

Ignoring the obvious disappointment marring his friend's voice, Hotch glanced over his shoulder. "You've got a visitor, Dave," he said, stepping aside so the tall man behind him could enter the office.

"I wouldn't exactly call me that," a familiar voice grunted as he moved inside the familiar office. "I remember every nook and cranny of this joint. Hello, Rossi," Jason Gideon greeted his old friend.

"Jason?" Dave said, his jaw dropping slightly as he rose behind his desk.

"I see you've redecorated," Gideon smirked as he glanced around at the taupe walls of his former office.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Dave asked, circling the desk to embrace his old friend. "I thought you said hell would freeze before you ever stepped foot back into the Federal Building."

Shrugging his broad shoulders, Gideon clapped Dave on the back. "I seem to remember you making that same vow several years ago," he challenged good naturedly. "Look at you now."

Smiling as he watched the exchange in front of him, Hotch said, "I'd love to stay, but I've got a meeting with Strauss. Jason, call me tonight. Maybe we can meet up for dinner while you're in town."

"I'll do that," Jason nodded to Hotch before the younger man closed the door behind him. Turning back to Dave, Gideon noted the new lines and creases marring his former partner's face. "I heard about Caroline, Rossi," he said softly. "I'm sorry. I would have come to the service, but I only got into town a couple of days ago. I'm guest lecturing at Georgetown this month."

Swallowing, Dave nodded stiffly. "Thanks," he murmured, retreating back to his chair behind the desk as Gid made himself comfortable in one of the visitor's chairs. "It was unexpected."

"So I've heard," Gideon said calmly as he nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "Reid told me a few months ago that you and JJ..."

"It's over now," Dave replied softly, looking away, unable to handle the look of pity that was certain to appear.

"Is it?" Gideon asked simply. "The look in your eyes tells me that it's anything but over for you, Dave. And the way I hear it, JJ isn't faring much better."

Shaking his head, Rossi met Gideon's eyes. "I hurt her, Jason."

"You didn't tell her the entire story, did you, Dave?" Gideon asked gently, settling his large frame into the wooden chair.

"I don't discuss the past, Jase. I never did," Rossi replied with as much dignity as he could.

"Your past is affecting your future, old man. Don't you think it might be worth a conversation? If JJ knew why you needed to help Caroline..."

"And how do you think that would go over, Jason?" Dave asked harshly, his fingers wrapping around his coffee mug in a grip that threatened to shatter the porcelain. "JJ doesn't even know that Caroline and I had a son," he whispered, his grief mixing with guilt. "Let alone that after the baby died...I..."

"You were grieving," Jason reminded his friend solemnly.

"I walked out on her," Dave bit out sharply, unable to allow himself to take any comfort in the other man's words. "I abandoned Caroline when she needed me most," he choked, his voice heavy with self-condemnation. "I couldn't do that to her twice in a lifetime. I owed her."

"I know that," Gideon informed the tortured man in front of him evenly. "And if JJ knew it, too, maybe you wouldn't be quite so miserable."

"No," Dave denied hoarsely, shaking his head. "If she knew...she said she'd still let me see Henry, Gid. Let me be a part of his life. If she knew how I reacted all those years ago..."

"Not to sound like a broken record, Dave," Gideon interrupted with a raised hand, "but, you'd just lost your son. You were grieving. And God alone knows that we all react to that differently. Forgiveness exists. Caroline forgave you. Do you really think JJ would do any less?"

"I told her I didn't have any children, Jason," Dave said flatly, meeting the other's man's steady gaze. "I knew telling her would invite questions that I wasn't prepared to answer." Licking his lips, he shook his head. "She won't understand that."

"She might," Gideon responded carefully. "I don't think you're giving her enough credit. JJ's problem right now is that she thinks you're still in love with your first wife...or a ghost. You can quell those fears right now. Fear is the only thing standing in your way. And fear is something I happen to know a hell of a lot about. It's why I walked away from this job. It's why I spent years struggling to find my way back from the abyss. It's what kept me from reconnecting with Spencer. But one day, you realize that the only thing the fear does is make you a coward. Don't wait so long to recognize that you lose what's standing right in front of you. I almost did."

"Gid, I know you're trying to help, but..."

"Just think on it, Rossi," Gideon advised, rising from his chair and extending his hand across the desk. "I'd hate to see you throw away a chance at something real. Something that might just have the ability to last."

"I'll give it some thought, Jase. Stop by the house before you leave. I'll break out the good scotch," Dave offered, shaking the other man's hand as he considered the advice he'd just received.

"Will do," Gideon nodded, pausing when he reached the doorway. Turning, he leveled Dave a meaningful look. "You lost one woman because you couldn't face reality. Face it now, my friend. Before you lose again."

And as the door slowly closed on Gideon's prophetic words, Dave closed his eyes.

Sometimes there were no easy answers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Hi guys! The FINAL voting process is well underway for the Second Annual Profiler's Choice Criminal Minds Awards hosted by Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Links can be found on our profiler pages. Please come on over and take a look at this year's incredibly talented nominees and their stories. Two random voters (that vote in ten categories or more) will be selected to receive gift cards from Amazon. com at the completion of this year's awards. So, take a moment and join the fun. Please PM us with any questions. WE ONLY HAVE SIXTEEN DAYS LEFT!**

_**And don't forget that we've got quite the collection of fellow authors and readers interfacing over at Facebook. Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" and/or "Tonnie Fanfiction" to join in the fun. Periodic announcements regarding our awards and ongoing work are announced there.**_

_**Thanks to everyone that continues to read, review, favorite and alert our work! You guys are incredible and we love hearing from each one of you!**_

_**Please check out the new article written by our friend and co-author, Kricket Williams at the Chit Chat on Author's Forum. It is called, "The Art of the Tactful Review".**_

**Also, if anyone has any threads they would like to see opened at the forum, please let us know!**

* * *

**The Wheel Has Come Full Circle**

**Chapter Two**

To meddle or not to meddle…that was the question.

Jason Gideon stretched his arm across the back of the wrought iron park bench as he casually watched the glass-fronted doors to the FBI building. Any moment now, he expected to see the agent that he had always privately referred to as Blondie stroll through those doors and out into the bright sunshine as she made her way to the annex building next door. And before that happened, he was going to have to determine exactly how far he was willing to go to help broker peace in what was obviously the Washington version of the Middle East.

Tapping his fingers impatiently against the cool metal, he sighed and reminded himself that he owed Spencer Reid this much. After all, when he'd had dinner last night with the unhappy, confused kid that he considered another son, Reid had made it clear that somebody had to do something. And he'd been tagged to be the mediator in this bureaucratic Peyton Place.

Honestly, some days he was really grateful he'd gotten the hell out.

And if he hadn't liked Rossi as much as he did and owed him a solid for taking up the slack for him all those years ago, he'd probably have counseled Reid to keep his head down and ride out the storm. But one look at Dave's heartbroken face...and yet another stolen look at JJ's lost countenance...and he'd been screwed.

Ah. There she was, right on schedule. She hitched her briefcase up on her shoulder as she glanced down at her watch. He knew she had a meeting to attend, Spencer having mentioned it to him earlier. So, now what was his decision?

Since when had he even had to ask himself such a question? He might not still be in the Bureau, but he was not above a few clandestine operations every now and then. And while he might not be searching for true love himself, perish the thought, he wasn't opposed to others finding it….and keeping it.

Besides, he told himself with a grin, fixing David Rossi's messed up life would be something he could hold over the old bastard for years to come.

Decision made, Jason Gideon waited until Jennifer Jareau was within a few feet of him before calling out casually, "You weren't going to just pass me up, were you, JJ?"

Startled eyes widened as she found the source of the voice calling her name. "Gideon?" she breathed, walking automatically toward him.

"Yep," Gideon answered, smiling widely into her shocked face as he rose to greet her. "You're a sight for sore eyes." He nodded, his eyes traveling appreciatively over her body. Motherhood had been kind to her, awarding curves that had been absent when he'd left the team and he could definitely see what had attracted Dave to her. Beautiful inside and out, Rossi was a lucky man if this woman loved him half as much as he adored her. "The years have definitely been kind to one of us," he added as he winked down at her.

Hugging him enthusiastically, JJ kissed his cheek. "I can't believe you're here. Reid mentioned you might be coming into the City a few weeks ago, but I had no idea you'd arrived."

"Told him to keep it quiet." Gideon shrugged, squeezing her gently. "I wanted to surprise you myself."

"Mission accomplished," JJ agreed as she grinned, releasing him to push a strand of hair behind her ear. "How have you been?" she asked eagerly.

"I'm getting along fine." he smiled, gesturing at the bench. "Got a few minutes to chat?" he asked, resuming his seat as she dropped her briefcase to sit beside him.

"I..." she began, glancing at the phone she held. Making a quick decision, she held up a finger. It wasn't every day one of her old teachers dropped in from the clear blue. "Let me cancel this meeting at State. They just wanted me to go over a few more things with the government issue bureaucrat that took my spot. I can do that tomorrow."

Pleased, Gideon nodded. "Take your time, JJ. I don't have any plans for the afternoon other than catching up with old friends."

She nodded, dialing her phone. "Give me two seconds."

Watching silently as JJ held a short conversation with whoever had assumed her brief role at the State Department, Jason marveled at the changes in the woman before him. Her voice held a confidence it hadn't a few years ago. She carried herself proudly, her chin high and gaze direct. She'd aged, maturing into a lady any man would be proud to have at his side and for a second, he felt jealousy rear its green head within him. Rossi was definitely a lucky bastard.

Or he would be, if he could pull off a small miracle.

Hanging up, JJ smiled at Jason. "Taken care of. Now, we both have a free afternoon to catch up."

Nodding slowly as he settled against the bench they sat on, Gideon offered her a sidelong glance. "You first, Blondie."

Smile faltering for a moment, JJ swallowed. "Well, Henry," she said, reverting to a completely safe topic as she fished in her bag for her wallet, opening it to the plastic flap of pictures, "Is growing like a weed."

Smiling down at the picture of the toddler, Gideon's heart lightened as he eyes the visage of a carefree child. "He's gorgeous, JJ," Gideon said quietly, flipping through the snapshots.

"And smart," JJ bragged. "Barely two and he already knows his ABC's and colors. And he can count to fifty," she informed him proudly as Gideon's fingers paused on a snapshot of Dave and Henry that had been taken at the park.

"That's amazing, JJ." Gideon smiled gently. Tapping his finger against the photograph of Rossi's smiling face, Gideon murmured, "Reid told me a bit about this development."

Reaching for the wallet, JJ swallowed hard as she snapped it closed and dropped it back in her purse. "Old picture," she countered as she shook her head. "We tried briefly...it didn't work out.

"I talked to Dave, too, this morning, sweetheart," Gideon countered softly. "It's not quite that simple, is it?" he prodded carefully.

Staring across the green lawn, JJ stiffened. "It never is, is it? But it doesn't matter. It's over."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Hi guys! The FINAL voting process is well underway for the Second Annual Profiler's Choice Criminal Minds Awards hosted by Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Links can be found on our profiler pages. Please come on over and take a look at this year's incredibly talented nominees and their stories. Two random voters (that vote in ten categories or more) will be selected to receive gift cards from Amazon. com at the completion of this year's awards. So, take a moment and join the fun. Please PM us with any questions. WE ONLY HAVE FIFTEEN DAYS LEFT!**

_**And don't forget that we've got quite the collection of fellow authors and readers interfacing over at Facebook. Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" and/or "Tonnie Fanfiction" to join in the fun. Periodic announcements regarding our awards and ongoing work are announced there.**_

_**Thanks to everyone that continues to read, review, favorite and alert our work! You guys are incredible and we love hearing from each one of you!**_

_**Please check out the new article written by our friend and co-author, Kricket Williams at the Chit Chat on Author's Forum. It is called, "The Art of the Tactful Review".**_

**Also, if anyone has any threads they would like to see opened at the forum, please let us know!**

* * *

**The Wheel Has Come Full Circle**

**Chapter Three**

Casually shaking his head, Gideon replied, "Saying it's over doesn't necessarily make it so, does it?"

"It does in this case," JJ muttered, pulling her purse close to her side as she stared out across the bricked walkway.

Gideon arched a brow as he watched her brow furrow. "Hey, this is me you're talking to, Blondie. I'm the one who wrote the book on seeing beyond the surface, remember?"

"And you were the one who instituted the rule of no profiling your team members, too, right?" JJ asked as she swiveled her head to meet his clear gaze.

Holding up a hand in silent protest, Gideon flicked at the white badge with the prominent V on the front. "Visitor now. Not on the team any more, remember? And being concerning about a friend is not the same as profiling, now is it?"

Swallowing as she realized that the man beside her was truly concerned and not merely pressing for information, JJ let out a sigh as she leaned back against the iron bench. "Life changes for all of us, Jason. Sometimes we get to choose the direction and sometimes we don't. I guess we've both learned that lesson recently, haven't we?"

"We always have a choice at the crossroads, JJ," Gideon reminded her sternly. "Life doesn't just happen to us. We make decisions about the direction we choose to go."

"And you think I've made the wrong choice?" JJ asked softly, verbalizing what she'd been privately wondering for weeks. At the time, she'd thought she was making the only decision she could, taking a step back. Letting Dave do what he needed to do.

Looking closely at the woman beside him, Jason murmured, "I wasn't in your shoes, JJ. I would never presume to condemn you for doing what you thought was best. The better question is how do you feel?"

Snorting, JJ shook her head. "The same way I felt weeks ago. Confused. Hurt. Scared. Pick one. They all apply here, Jase." Swallowing hard, JJ whispered, "I've made so many wrong choices in the last few years, Gideon. I thought when Dave and I stumbled into a relationship that I might have gotten things right for once. Then, Doyle came after Emily and I lied to him. All of them."

Gideon nodded slowly. "Reid told me." Touching her arm, Gideon confided, "If it helps, I think you did the right thing there. You helped keep her alive. Grieving Emily's death for real would have hurt each one of them a lot worse. You and Hotch prevented that from happening."

"Maybe," JJ assented, "but, it put doubts in Dave's head. I know it did. How could it not? He trusted me and I lied to him. Over and over again. Noble intentions or not, it was still a huge lie."

"You kept a secret from him." Gideon nodded, silently thinking that Dave didn't really have a hell of a lot of room to judge anyone considering what he hadn't told JJ. "Sometimes, secrets are kept secret for a really good reason."

"Maybe if we hadn't just been finding our way back to each other from that hurdle, we could have endured..."

"Caroline?" Gideon supplied quietly.

JJ smirked at him as she smacked his arm. "You really are well informed, aren't you?"

"I'm a man that likes knowing things." Gideon shrugged as he leaned back against the bench. "And I knew Caroline when they were married. She wasn't a bad person, JJ," he explained gently.

"I know that." JJ nodded, her throat thickening. "It's one of the reasons..."

"That you let him go?" Gideon asked knowingly.

"She needed him."

"So did you," Gideon countered.

"Yeah, but he needed her in return." JJ shook her head as she tried to clear her mind, to find the words that would let her keep her dignity intact. "He was still in love with her, Jason," JJ said huskily, staring down her purse. "And I couldn't compete with that. Not after everything that just happened between us."

"Your faith in each other was shaken, JJ. The natural human instinct is to protect ourselves from pain. But, while I think Dave cherished what he shared with his first wife, I don't think he was in love with her. I think he loved her. But, I know he's in love with you." Sighing heavily as he saw JJ shake her head out of the corner of his eye, Jason smiled faintly. "You don't believe me."

"I think you're wrong."

"Blondie, if there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that love is an uphill battle. Some of those battles...you're just doomed to lose them. But this ain't one of 'em. Rossi has a savior complex, always has. He's a perpetual fixer. He sees a problem and he feels bound by duty and honor to solve it. Caroline came to him asking for help. Once upon a time, they shared a life together. He couldn't turn his back on her. Be truthful, JJ, what would you have thought of him if he had."

"Jason, she didn't come back asking for a loan...she wanted him to..." JJ broke off, clamping her lips together as she realized she was about to reveal far more than her own secrets.

"I know what she wanted him to do," Gideon replied softly.

"You don't do something like that for someone you don't love."

"You do if you feel like you owe them," Jason countered evenly.

Jerking her head to look at Jason's unreadable face, JJ cocked her head. "You know something that I don't, don't you?"

"Before I answer that, I need to ask you a question. And, JJ, I need an honest answer," Jason said grimly.

Feeling a shiver creep down her spine at the slightly ominous demand, JJ nodded slowly. "Okay."

"Are you still in love with Dave?"

Dropping her eyes to the ground, JJ's breath caught at the blunt question. Lying to a man that spotted lies for a living was pointless. So, instead, she shrugged stiffly. "You already know I am," she said tightly. "But..."

"No buts," Gideon said, abruptly rising and holding out his hand. "Come on."

Shocked, JJ stared at his hand. "What? Where?" she questioned quickly.

He knew he was wading into murky waters he had no business entering. What he was going to do would rip open scars on David Rossi that he knew the other man had spent years avoiding . But with three lives hanging in the balance, the risk was worth the reward. "Call it a field trip," Gideon replied cryptically. "I have something I need to show you. And something you need to see, JJ. Desperately."

Stunned, JJ took the proffered hand hesitantly. "You're sure?"

"Unfortunately, Blondie," Gideon sighed, pulling her toward the parking lot, "I'm positive."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note - So, I know I sound like a broken record, guys, but We've got less than two weeks left to vote in the Profiler's Choice CM Awards. ALL the details can be found on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. Links are in my profile page. If you've got ANY questions, PLEASE PM me. Also, for every person that votes in at least TEN categories, you are automatically registered to win one of two Amazon. com gift cards. So, please, put on those reading hats, grab a cup of coffee and check out the ballot. We have some great stories and fabulous authors up for consideration.**

**Also, we have a new forum article up for your consideration at the forum by one of our fellow authors, Kricket Williams called, "The Art of the Tactful Review". Check it out! It's amazingly insightful. Look for new articles coming soon by some of your favorite writers on the CM site. Anyone that has an idea that THEY would like to write for the forum, please contact me.**

**As always, I invited you to join me and tons of other authors and readers over at Facebook. We're having a blast getting to know each other, encouraging each other and swapping ideas! Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction."**

**As always, we thank everyone for reading our stories. Reviews keep me motivated to keep going, so, if you have a moment drop a comment. Thanks again for following our work.**

* * *

**The Wheel Has Come Full Circle**

**Chapter Four**

Jennifer Jareau's eyes widened almost comically as Jason Gideon parked his SUV at the edge of the well-manicured lawn. Staring out the car window at the perfect rows of tombstones lying before her, JJ shook her head as she whispered, "Tell me this is some sort of joke, Jason."

"Death rarely ends in comedy," Gideon replied softly as he killed the engine, pulling out the keys as he opened his door. "Come on, Blondie. The lesson is just beginning."

Stiffly following his lead and stepping out onto the soft ground, JJ wrapped her arms around her chest as she tried to stop the sudden chills that roiled through her body. The quiet solitude of the final resting places of hundreds was broken by their footsteps against the grass, and JJ found herself unwillingly glancing down at the engraved names as they passed by the granite reminders of lives now gone.

A minute later, she suddenly stared down at the small but elegant tombstone of Caroline Rossi. Drawing in a deep breath, she glanced sharply over at the quiet man beside her. "This is supposed to be education, Jason? I must be missing part of the lesson."

Taking her hand, Jason ignored the tone in her voice as he gently pulled her a few steps to the left, wisely keeping silent as he heard her gasp as she looked down at the small stone that was almost level with the ground.

Eyes widening on the simple stone, JJ struggled to process what she was seeing. "This can't be right," she whispered, bending to reread the inscription. "It can't be."

"I'm sorry, JJ," Gideon apologized softly. "There was no easy way to tell you, so, I thought showing you would be more effective. There's a reason for the choice Dave made. It wasn't simple or easy. It was messy and complicated. Much like life is."

Straightening, JJ turned wild eyes to Jason. "No! Dave said he'd never had children. I asked him!" She shook her head furiously.

"He got to be a parent for exactly one hour JJ...one that he didn't spend with his child," Gideon explained softly, hating the look of sheer agony that was engraved on her face but knowing that he had no choice but to continue. "By the time Dave made it to the hospital, James was gone," he informed her softly, nodding toward the granite marker.

"But..."

"Dave was away on a case...his first with the Bureau when Carolyn went into labor. The baby was several months early and in those days...there was nothing they could do. After he died, Dave, well, he wasn't Dave for a long time, JJ. Not the Dave you know. He left Carolyn."

"What do you mean he left her?" JJ frowned, trying to find some line of logic amidst the confusion in her mind. She shook her head. "He wouldn't have!"

"JJ," Gideon sighed, urging her toward a cement bench a few yards away from the graves. "Grief makes us all react differently. Some of us become clingy...we can't bear the thought of being alone. And some of us...men like Rossi and I...we need time to lick our wounds and heal. He didn't leave her to hurt her. He left because the pain of seeing her...of remember what they'd lost together...was unbearable. She forgave him, but the damage to the marriage was irreparable. They parted as friends. Really good friends. And when they did, he promised her that he'd be there for her. No matter what. He felt guilty. In Dave's mind, he'd failed her once already when he couldn't save their boy. He failed her again when he walked away from her. He couldn't fail her a third time. Not when it mattered. Not when it was the last thing she'd ever ask of him."

"But why lie? To me, of all people? How could he refuse to acknowledge that child's existence?" JJ whispered, unable to comprehend the choices of the man she'd fallen in love with.

Sighing, Gideon shook his head. "I can't answer that question, JJ. I think only Dave can do that. But I suspect that his denial was a coping mechanism. For Dave, he never got the chance to be a father. For him, Henry is, in a lot of ways, his first child. I don't think not telling you was a malicious act on his part. I think he was terrified that if you'd known the entire ugly truth, you'd end up hating him for it. For him, right now, he's grieving a quadruple loss. Carolyn and his son. And you and Henry. And quite frankly, I think it will eventually kill him."

"I'm not keeping Henry from him," JJ rasped, jerking her face to Jason's. "I promised him that I wouldn't and I haven't."

"But the hope for a family...a real one...that died when you walked away from him."

Tears rose in her eyes unbidden, distorting her sight as JJ buried her face in her shaking hands. Gideon's revelation about Dave had rocked her to her foundation and she was reeling. So many questions rose in her mind, threatening to cripple her. And there were no answers. None. And all because of one man's stubbornness.

Sliding his hand over her fragile spine, Gideon grimaced as her sob echoed in the quiet, deserted graveyard. "I assume knowing this might have changed some of the decisions you made recently, huh?" he asked quietly.

Sniffling as she struggled to compose herself, JJ wiped her cheeks with the backs of her hands as she lifted her head and looked across the lawn at the gravestones celebrating the two lost Rossi's lives. "I don't know," she whispered, her voice raw. "I don't know what to do, Jason. I have no idea what to do with this information."

"I have a suggestion," Gideon responded carefully, squeezing JJ's shoulder supportively as she sagged against him. "Although, it might not be what you want to hear."

"None of this is something I wanted to hear...doesn't mean I didn't need to know it," JJ acknowledged grimly. "Go ahead, Jason. You've gone this far. What do you think?"

"It's obvious that you still love him, JJ. I've been gone for years. Years, Blondie, and I can see it. You need to talk to him. Take Henry to see him. Spend some time with him. I've had my skirmishes with Rossi in the past. He can be an arrogant, egotistical prick. But, he's also one of the most decent guys I've ever known. He deserves some happiness. So do you. And if there's a chance you can find it together, life is too goddamn short to waste it being uncertain."

Nodding, JJ swallowed as she looked at her watch. "Could you take me back to my car? I want to pick up Henry. Right now," she said with a lingering last look at the headstones ahead of her, "I really need to hold him."

Nodding, Gideon helped JJ back to her feet. "Any chance you'll be taking another field trip tonight?" he asked hopefully.

"I'd say there's every chance," JJ replied, her mind already moving ahead.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note - So, I know I sound like a broken record, guys, but We've got less than two weeks left to vote in the Profiler's Choice CM Awards. ALL the details can be found on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. Links are in my profile page. If you've got ANY questions, PLEASE PM me. Also, for every person that votes in at least TEN categories, you are automatically registered to win one of two Amazon. com gift cards. So, please, put on those reading hats, grab a cup of coffee and check out the ballot. We have some great stories and fabulous authors up for consideration.**

**Also, we have a new forum article up for your consideration at the forum by one of our fellow authors, Kricket Williams called, "The Art of the Tactful Review". Check it out! It's amazingly insightful. Look for new articles coming soon by some of your favorite writers on the CM site. Anyone that has an idea that THEY would like to write for the forum, please contact me.**

**As always, I invited you to join me and tons of other authors and readers over at Facebook. We're having a blast getting to know each other, encouraging each other and swapping ideas! Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction."**

**As always, we thank everyone for reading our stories. Reviews keep me motivated to keep going, so, if you have a moment drop a comment. Thanks again for following our work.**

* * *

**The Wheel Has Come Full Circle**

**Chapter Five**

Shifting her squirming son against her hip as she stepped up on the wooden porch, JJ whispered, "Just a few minutes more, Henry. I know you want down, but give Momma just a minute."

"Momma move," Henry ordered as he leaned sideways in her arms, trying to reach for the door in front of them.

"Momma's moving, I promise," JJ assured the little boy as she drew in a deep breath. Oh, if only her innocent son knew exactly how much she was moving…and hopefully in a forward direction. From the moment she had left the cemetery, she had been a woman on a mission. She had hurried to pick up her son from daycare, rushed home to fix him a quick dinner that she herself couldn't think of eating, and, even though she had her doubt whether her hopes would be reciprocated, she packed a quick overnight bag for both of them.

And now, just a mere two hours later, she found herself standing on the porch of the house that she had recently thought of as her second home. She could only hope that it could become that again in the future….if there was a future for her…for him….for them.

Building up her courage, JJ pressed her finger against the doorbell. The faint peals could be heard through the heavy oak door, and JJ listened closely for the sound of sliding locks.

But nothing happened. No response. It was as if the house was deserted, even though she could see Dave's truck parked in its normal space.

Heavy footsteps sounded on the other end of the porch just then, and JJ turned quickly, Henry sliding in her arms.

"JJ?" Dave asked, surprise evident in his voice as he stepped slowly toward them. His eyes softened as he added gently, "Hey there, little man."

"Dabe! My Dabe!" Henry squealed, throwing himself out of JJ's arms and toward the older man.

Catching the toddler as he dive-bombed from his mother's arms, Dave laughed, his first of the last few grim weeks. "Hey there, Monkey!" He grinned as the little boy latched his arms around his neck. "How's my boy?" Meeting JJ's eyes above Henry's head, Dave's gaze softened. "I didn't expect to see you. Why didn't you use your key?" he asked, settling Henry against his hip.

"I wasn't sure...I didn't know if you'd be..." JJ floundered, her cheeks reddening at the innocent question.

"That key is yours any time you want to use it, JJ," Dave said slowly, seeing the indecision flashing in her blue eyes. "Always."

"Things have changed," JJ murmured, her voice strained as she pulled her coat tighter, the faint breeze suddenly growing colder. "I wasn't sure if the same rules applied anymore," she whispered as Dave moved to open the front door.

"They do for me," Dave replied heavily, ushering her inside the house as he bent to sit Henry on his sturdy feet. "Go find your toys, little man," Dave murmured, kissing Henry's head as he aimed the boy toward the living room. "There're some new ones in there." Smiling widely as the toddler took off, anxious to revisit his toy box, Dave straightened. "I'm glad to see you, JJ."

Licking her lips as she shuffled uncertainly in the foyer, JJ swallowed. "I wasn't sure if I should come or not, but a little birdie told me that you could use some company and since you hadn't seen Henry this week yet..."

"I'm happy you're _both_ here," Dave replied softly. "Please come in," he urged when it appeared that she might bolt. "Whoever the bird was, they weren't wrong. I've missed you."

Heart constricting at his almost inaudible words, JJ nodded. "Okay," she whispered, shrugging off her coat and draping it over the rack in the corner. "If you're sure..."

"Positive," Dave replied readily, secretly thrilled that she'd come with Henry. The last time he'd visited with the little boy, it had been a reluctant Garcia that had dropped him off and picked him up. He'd prayed it would be JJ, but it had been in vain. She'd kept her word about Henry though...and he'd loved her even more as a result. Maybe Jason was right and he should just take a chance on telling her the truth. The whole truth. "Jen, we need to..."

"Dabby!" Henry squealed from the next room. "Dabby, let's pway!"

"You're being paged." JJ smiled faintly as her son's face appeared in the doorway, stuffed alligator in his hand. "That new?" she asked as she turned her smile toward Dave.

"I might have gone a little crazy last time he was here," Dave muttered as he grinned sheepishly. "To my credit, I only let him take two of the toys home with him, though."

"S'im in tub, Dabby?" Henry begged, holding his arms out to be picked up.

Laughing at the soft demand in the child's voice, Dave swept the child up in his arms, holding him tightly. Shooting a questioning glance at JJ, he paused, asking silent permission.

"It's okay. I know how much he loves that tub," JJ answered immediately, unable to resist either of them. "I packed us overnight bags," she murmured nervously as she bit her lower lip. "I thought..."

Blinking, Dave felt his mouth go dry. She'd said 'us'. As in, both of them. He hadn't misheard that, had he? Tightening his grip on a wriggling Henry as JJ held out one of the bags draped over her shoulder, he reached for it.

"His pajamas are in there, if you want to..."

His hand closing around the bag, his eyes met hers hopefully. "I would love for you _both _to stay this weekend, JJ. I'd love it."

Nodding, JJ bit her lip. "I could make us some coffee while you give him his bath," she offered, motioning toward the nearby counter. "He's already had dinner, so he should be ready to go down afterward. Maybe we could..."

"...talk?" Dave supplied for her. "I think we should. And coffee would be great. I don't think I've had a decent cup since..." he trailed off, immediately regretting ever starting that sentence.

"Baff, Dabby," Henry declared insistently, cupping Dave's whiskered cheeks and turning the man's head toward his. "Baff now!"

"Better move fast, Dabby. I think that sailor is about to stage a mutiny," JJ said with an amused smile, her son's little fingers now pulling at Dave's goatee.

"I'm beginning to sense that," Dave chuckled, nuzzling the toddler's neck playfully, making growling noises. "We might be awhile. Last weekend, he was almost a raisin when I convinced him to come ashore," he said with a look at the lovely woman standing in his living room.

"It's fine," JJ assured him softly. "Go enjoy yourself," she said, nodding toward the staircase behind him. "I know my way around."

"Okay," Dave agreed, hiking the excited youngster up his chest. "Bath time then bedtime," he told the grinning tot. "Got that?"

"BAFFFF!" Henry squealed, his feet kicking Dave's belly.

Turning, Dave headed toward the stairs only to pause on the bottom step. "JJ," he called over his shoulder as she walked toward the kitchen. "Thank you, Bella."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note - So, I know I sound like a broken record, guys, but We've got less than two weeks left to vote in the Profiler's Choice CM Awards. ALL the details can be found on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. Links are in my profile page. If you've got ANY questions, PLEASE PM me. Also, for every person that votes in at least TEN categories, you are automatically registered to win one of two Amazon. com gift cards. So, please, put on those reading hats, grab a cup of coffee and check out the ballot. We have some great stories and fabulous authors up for consideration.**

**Also, we have a new forum article up for your consideration at the forum by one of our fellow authors, Kricket Williams called, "The Art of the Tactful Review". Check it out! It's amazingly insightful. Look for new articles coming soon by some of your favorite writers on the CM site. Anyone that has an idea that THEY would like to write for the forum, please contact me.**

**As always, I invited you to join me and tons of other authors and readers over at Facebook. We're having a blast getting to know each other, encouraging each other and swapping ideas! Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction."**

**As always, we thank everyone for reading our stories. Reviews keep me motivated to keep going, so, if you have a moment drop a comment. Thanks again for following our work.**

* * *

**The Wheel Has Come Full Circle**

**Chapter Six**

Watching as he disappeared up the stairs, JJ felt her heart melt at the endearment. He hadn't called her that since the night she'd told him to leave her house, and she hadn't realized how much she'd missed it until she heard it again.

She put on the coffee with a minimum of fuss. Nothing had changed in the familiar kitchen, everything exactly as she remembered. It was almost comforting, being there, performing the mundane tasks. Absently, she loaded the few dishes in the sink into his dishwasher and wiped the counters as she waited for the coffee to percolate. Occasionally, she'd hear the distant sounds of her son's happy laughter and Dave's accompanying deep soothing voice. The words were distorted, but she knew whatever else happened tonight, her son had managed to comfort the only man he associated now with his father.

That alone was enough to soothe her own frayed nerves.

She looked around the kitchen for a moment and, satisfied that it was clean, moved back into the living room. Wandering aimlessly, she trailed her fingers against the books lining the shelves of the room, pausing when she came to several framed photographs. Catching her breath, she realized most of them were of her and Henry, some with Dave, some without, and her eyes filled with tears.

He hadn't taken them down. For a moment, she wondered if Caroline had noticed them when she'd been here. Immediately, she felt guilty for the catty thought. She knew Dave hadn't moved the woman in here...Emily had told her that much.

But still...

Glancing toward the staircase as she heard a dissatisfied cry and splashing water, her lips twitched. Bath time, it appeared was over if the whines above were any indication. Walking to the stairs, she called, "Need any help?"

"We're fine," she heard Dave's deep voice reply. "I'm going to get him changed and read a couple of stories," he added as he smiled, appearing with her towel bundled son at the top of the stairs before crossing the hallway and opening the door to the room he'd converted for her little boy.

Nodding, she walked back into the kitchen, pouring coffee into two mugs and carrying it back to the living room. Reaching for the stereo remote, she hit the power button, the room suddenly filled with soft, bluesy music that she knew he loved. She settled into the corner of the sofa and reached for one of the magazines on Dave's end table. Curling her feet underneath her as she'd done so many evenings before, her hand absently found the soft throw on the back of the couch and automatically pulled it over her legs.

She tried to focus on the article she'd flipped open, but thoughts of the conversation she knew they needed to have kept creeping back into her mind, distracting her. But she'd come this far, hadn't she? Somehow she'd found the courage to take these first tentative steps back to him.

Now, all she could do was wait.

_**$$0000$$**_

Smiling as he felt Henry's weight become heavier in his arms, Dave stared down at the small child, his eyes filling with tears. So small and trusting, Henry's hand wrapped securely around the pocket of his shirt, Dave remembered how many nights he'd done just this. Slowly rocked as the toddler had fallen asleep in his arms. He'd missed it. This seemingly ordinary nightly chore. So many fathers took the task for granted, always assuming that they'd have another night to rock.

But he knew from personal experience that it was never a guarantee. And he relished every moment of this quiet time.

Brushing his lips against Henry's warm, dry skin, Dave inhaled deeply. "I love you," he whispered, shifting the baby in his arms. "So much that it hurts, Henry."

And that much was true...looking at the sweet round face, his dark lashes fanned against his cheeks...it pierced his heart.

Because tonight he might lose it all. The honesty he knew JJ deserved might rob him of his last chance at happiness.

And it terrified him to his core.

Slowly rising, he held the little man securely in his arms as he crossed the short distance to Henry's crib. Settling the baby, Dave drew the covers over his boy, smoothing his hand over Henry's head as the baby snuffled in his sleep.

How many nights had he sat alone in this room, staring at an empty bed?

Too damned many.

Content to watch the boy sleep for a few minutes more, he stood there, staring down at the little boy that had wrapped himself around his heart as firmly as any son of his body could have. Peaceful and carefree, the monkey slumbered, secure in the knowledge that he was safe and exactly where he belonged.

If only it would be that easy to convince his mother.

But it would take far more than a bath and a bedtime story to quell her fears.

It would take the truth. And even then, he wasn't sure if it would work.

It might just take a miracle.

Bending, he brushed another kiss against the sleeping baby's head before he forced himself to take a step back. He turned off the overhead switch to the lights and flipped on the nursery lamp, bathing the room in a warm glow. Moving quietly, he slid out the door, pulling it almost closed behind him.

Dave took a deep breath as he hesitated at the top of the stairs and steadied his nerves. He couldn't afford to make a misstep now. Without being told, he knew this might well be his last opportunity to save his relationship with JJ. And God, how he wanted to salvage it.

Loving her had changed him.

Everyone who knew him recognized it. Even Caroline. When she'd learned of his deceit with Jennifer, she'd been furious. She'd screamed and browbeat him, begging him to call the other woman...to make it right. She'd begged him to let her do it herself, to let her explain the circumstances to JJ. But he'd refused, his pride preventing him from allowing either of them to approach her. His ex-wife had called him an idiot and a coward, accusing him of making all the same mistakes again.

At first, he'd been livid at them both, her and JJ.

But as the days had become weeks, his anger had faded, and his fears had risen to the fore.

Then, Caroline had died. Leaving him truly alone for the first time in his life.

But now, he had a slim chance to find love again among the ruins.

If he didn't blow it all to hell in the next five minutes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note - So, I know I sound like a broken record, guys, but We've got less than two weeks left to vote in the Profiler's Choice CM Awards. ALL the details can be found on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. Links are in my profile page. If you've got ANY questions, PLEASE PM me. Also, for every person that votes in at least TEN categories, you are automatically registered to win one of two Amazon. com gift cards. So, please, put on those reading hats, grab a cup of coffee and check out the ballot. We have some great stories and fabulous authors up for consideration.**

**Also, we have a new forum article up for your consideration at the forum by one of our fellow authors, Kricket Williams called, "The Art of the Tactful Review". Check it out! It's amazingly insightful. Look for new articles coming soon by some of your favorite writers on the CM site. Anyone that has an idea that THEY would like to write for the forum, please contact me.**

**As always, I invited you to join me and tons of other authors and readers over at Facebook. We're having a blast getting to know each other, encouraging each other and swapping ideas! Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction."**

**As always, we thank everyone for reading our stories. Reviews keep me motivated to keep going, so, if you have a moment drop a comment. Thanks again for following our work.**

* * *

**The Wheel Has Come Full Circle**

**Chapter Seven**

JJ tossed the magazine she been staring at blindly away as she heard his heavy footsteps on the staircase. She held her breath as she turned to look over his shoulder, meeting his solemn eyes as he walked into the room. Forcing a smile, she glanced at the brass clock poised on the mantel. "One hour fifteen minutes from bath to bed...I think you broke my record."

"He fought for more time, but his eyes were closing even before we started rocking," Rossi said with a faint smile as he reached for the coffee mug she held out to him. Taking a careful sip, he met her eyes over the top of the mug. For weeks, he had dreamed of that brilliant cerulean blue gaze, wondering if he would ever again feel the warmth and love that had radiated from those eyes. And now that he found himself once again blessed with the opportunity, he only hoped that he didn't lose it all again.

Carefully placing the mug on the table, Dave let out a sigh as he said, "We need to start at the beginning, Bella. There're some things you don't know."

She had agonized over whether to let him tell her about his past or to cut to the chase and let him know that she already knew. And now that the moment had arrived, she wasn't certain what the best course of action would be. Would she risk losing him forever if he found out that she had been told of his private decisions? Or would he be relieved?

Nodding as she scooted to the edge of the couch, JJ bit her lip as she said hoarsely, her decision made, "I think before you start that you need to know how I spent my afternoon, Dave."

Pausing as he watched her smooth face clench just slightly, Dave stomach tightened. "Your afternoon?" he asked hoarsely, a suspicion beginning to form in the back of his mind. Christ, Gideon wouldn't have...he couldn't have...

Oh, Dave had a distinct and dreadful feeling that the other man had indeed done everything he was thinking he did.

"I had a surprising visitor," JJ continued, her voice hushed as she met his eyes. She couldn't lie to him. Dave deserved the truth from her, even if he'd been too frightened to share his own with her. "Gideon."

Heart dropping as she confirmed his fears, Dave tensed. "I had the same company early this afternoon," he replied hoarsely. "So he was the little bird that mentioned I needed some company, huh?" he asked uncomfortably, darting his eyes away, unable to hold her gaze.

"Yeah, among other things," JJ returned quietly, watching as he stiffened, his fingers contracting into fists against the arm of his chair. "Why didn't you tell me, Dave?"

Closing his eyes as her question echoed in his mind, Dave shook his head.

"Don't do that," JJ begged, watching his face close off from her. "Don't shut down now."

"JJ..."

"He took me to the cemetery, Dave. He showed me two graves. One was Caroline's...one..."

"Please stop," Dave said gruffly, his throat thickening, strangling him as he dropped his mug down to the end table with a thud. "JJ, I can't...I thought I could talk about this tonight, but..."

"One belonged to your son, David," JJ went on determinedly, her soft voice insistent. "His name was James David Rossi."

"I know what his name was," Dave bit out gruffly, his shoulders stiffening. Opening his eyes, he met her shining eyes. "I gave it to him," he confided brokenly, his voice cracking with the weight of his words.

Releasing a shaky breath as his statement hung in the air between them, JJ shook her head, licking her dry lips. "I know what Jason told me this afternoon, but I want to hear it from you. I want to know the truth, David."

"No," Dave said weakly, shaking his head as he stared back at her with clouded eyes. "You really don't."

"Why not?" JJ questioned gently, pressing her palm against her knee. "I thought you trusted me. I thought we could tell each other anything. You know my secrets, Dave. Ugly as they are, you know them."

"Because," Dave returned harshly, surging to his feet to pace in front of the fireplace, "Right now, you're mad at me. I hurt you. But, you don't hate me. But if you knew everything," he stated huskily, shaking his dark head, "Believe me, Jen, you _would_. And I don't know if I could live with that. Living with everything else is hard enough."

Swallowing hard at the raw pain and fear coloring his words, JJ rose and walked to stand in front of him. "Look at me, Dave," she ordered on a whisper. Waiting until he reluctantly lifted his eyes to hers, she cupped his cheeks, holding his tortured gaze. "I could _never_ hate you. _Never_. But neither of us can move forward with all these secrets standing between us. You once told me that the truth could set us free. You're going to have to believe in your own convictions now and trust me." Stroking her thumb against his strong jaw, she said, her voice firm but kind, "You once told me that you'd never had children. That was a lie, wasn't it?"

Flinching in the face of her direct question, he whispered raggedly, "You know it was."

"Go on," JJ urged, taking a half step closer as she continued to stroke her fingers down his cheek. "Tell me all of it, Dave."

Hanging his head as the past flooded back, Dave squeezed his eyes closed. "Caroline was pregnant in '79. I was just getting my feet wet at the Bureau. I was taking every case I could to try and build my reputation. I wasn't there when she went into labor two months early. Seems like I was never there when she needed me. By the time I arrived at the hospital..." he choked, his shoulders sagging as the grief hit him again as fresh as it had been then, "...he was just _gone_. Now, he might have lived, but then..."

"It's okay," JJ soothed, her heart breaking as she watched a tear roll down his cheek. "Keep going."

"The doctors did everything they could," he murmured. "But, they hadn't told Caroline. They were waiting for me," he bit out harshly, his chest tightening as those long ago memories invaded his thoughts with surprising alacrity. "I don't remember what I said to her, Jen," Dave confessed unevenly, his hands shaking as he balled them into fists. "But God," he groaned on an explosion of breath. "I remember her screams...like some wounded animal. And her tears," he faltered, struggling for control as he felt a decades old gash on his soul rip open. "I couldn't take it...her grief...her pain...her guilt..._my _guilt," he babbled mindlessly. "All of it! I left her, JJ. I walked out of the hospital and didn't look back. Do you know what kind of coward that makes me? Do you?" he rasped, reaching for her slim arms and shaking her. "I left that woman...my _wife_...alone with all that grief!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note - So, I know I sound like a broken record, guys, but We've got less than two weeks left to vote in the Profiler's Choice CM Awards. ALL the details can be found on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. Links are in my profile page. If you've got ANY questions, PLEASE PM me. Also, for every person that votes in at least TEN categories, you are automatically registered to win one of two Amazon. com gift cards. So, please, put on those reading hats, grab a cup of coffee and check out the ballot. We have some great stories and fabulous authors up for consideration.**

**Also, we have a new forum article up for your consideration at the forum by one of our fellow authors, Kricket Williams called, "The Art of the Tactful Review". Check it out! It's amazingly insightful. Look for new articles coming soon by some of your favorite writers on the CM site. Anyone that has an idea that THEY would like to write for the forum, please contact me.**

**As always, I invited you to join me and tons of other authors and readers over at Facebook. We're having a blast getting to know each other, encouraging each other and swapping ideas! Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction."**

**As always, we thank everyone for reading our stories. Reviews keep me motivated to keep going, so, if you have a moment drop a comment. Thanks again for following our work.**

* * *

**The Wheel Has Come Full Circle**

**Chapter Eight**

Watching as he caught himself against the back of the sofa, JJ blinked back her own tears as he went on.

"I didn't tell you about my son because I was terrified if you knew what kind of father I'd been, you'd never let me near you...near Henry! I didn't tell you because I _knew_ I didn't deserve the chance you were offering me!" he yelled hoarsely, his fist clenching by his side as he felt his throat tightening with each word. "My God, I don't know how the fuck Caroline ever managed to forgive me, JJ. But she did. When I finally came back and faced her...faced what I'd done, she just looked at me with her sad eyes and told me that she understood. She said she couldn't be married to me anymore...too much had happened, but that she didn't blame me."

"Because it wasn't your fault, Dave," JJ insisted, taking a step toward him as she held out her hand.

"Don't say that! It _was_ my fault, JJ. All of it! Then and now," he shouted, running a hand through his dark hair as he avoided her touch. "I wasn't there for her when the baby was born...I wasn't there for her when she was grieving our loss...I wasn't there for you when...I let you down, too, Jennifer."

"Stop," JJ ordered softly, holding up a hand between them as she slowly approached his quaking body. "Sit down," she urged, wrapping her hand around his arm and tugging him to the couch before he could resist her again. Sitting down beside him, JJ stared into his eyes, filled with unimaginable pain. "You've got to stop torturing yourself for things you couldn't control."

"But I could have. And when you see that, you're going to run like hell, Jennifer. With your son...with my..."

"Son?" JJ asked gently, drawing in a deep breath. Seeing him stiffen, she continued, "That's what you were going to say, wasn't it?"

"I don't deserve to think of Henry that way," Dave managed through barely moving lips, his voice coming through a tight throat as he remembered the small sleeping boy upstairs who had smiled so beautifully at him earlier, complete trust glowing in his achingly familiar eyes.

And with that, her heart broke. If the earlier words he had shared hadn't completely accomplished that feat, the pain and sheer grief she heard in his voice now finished the task. Fighting her own tears, she reached for his hand as she whispered, "You can think of him that way because I say you can. Henry already knows. I know it. And in your heart, _you_ know it."

Try as he might and as much as he wanted to acknowledge her words, his own mind couldn't accept the magnificent gift that she was providing him. "I had my chance and I let it slip through my fingers," he mumbled as he stared down at their joined hands, her smaller fingers somehow managing to wrap around his, protecting him in a way he hadn't thought possible.

Reaching out with her free hand, JJ tilted his chin, forcing him to meet her eyes. "Life gives us second chances, Dave. There can never be a replacement for what was lost. But sometimes, we get the possibility to go forward in a new way." Her voice broke as she whispered, "It's what happened to Henry and me, Dave. My son got the father he deserved in you, regardless of what happens in the future between you and me."

"Is there still a you and me, Jen?" Dave asked hoarsely, staring into her tearful eyes. The simple question was the white elephant in the room, the dividing factor that was overwhelming every thought that managed to seep through his rattled brain.

"I don't know," JJ replied faintly. "It looks like there is," she murmured, looking around the living room, pictures of them scattered throughout. "I was surprised to still see our pictures out...my sweater still hanging on the peg in the kitchen...," she offered, drawing in a shaky breath. "I still can't pull your shirts off the hangers in my closet at home. Your stupid ugly slippers are right beside the bed where you left them. No matter how hard I've tried, I can't bring myself to take those final steps."

"JJ, I meant what I said that night," Dave declared huskily, squeezing her hand as he tried to find the words to overcome the chasm between them. "I love you. I've never stopped loving you. Helping Caroline was never an action I took to hurt you or test you...it's something I _had_ to do. I'd let that woman down on so _many_ goddamned levels." He shook his head, staring into space. "I owed this to her. And even in those last moments, I failed her. I tried to talk her out of what she wanted...tried to convince her to keep fighting. She'd already taken the pills when I got to the hotel room," he confided, his words become tight. "But she was ready...and..."

"She made her own decision, Dave. For better or worse, _she _made it...because it was hers to make. It was her life, and it was her choice," JJ said firmly, squeezing his hand as she reached for a pillow, tucking it behind her back. "And you made yours. I...I don't know what I would have said if I'd known everything, Dave. I can't tell you that my reaction would have been different because I don't know if it would have been. I'm ashamed to admit how threatened I felt. We weren't even past the actions I'd taken with Em, and a part of me wondered if Caroline was your excuse for walking away...if she'd just given you the out you needed." Seeing his eyes darken, JJ held up a hand, "I know I told you to go. I did that and I take responsibility for it..."

"...but I went," Dave whispered, hanging his head. Struggling to find a way to explain his actions, he shook his head. "I was hurt and angry, JJ. I wanted you to understand what I was doing and no matter what I said, it only made things worse."

"We both made mistakes," JJ murmured, staring down at her hands. "I don't want to keep making them."


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note - So, I know I sound like a broken record, guys, but We've got less than two weeks left to vote in the Profiler's Choice CM Awards. ALL the details can be found on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. Links are in my profile page. If you've got ANY questions, PLEASE PM me. Also, for every person that votes in at least TEN categories, you are automatically registered to win one of two Amazon. com gift cards. So, please, put on those reading hats, grab a cup of coffee and check out the ballot. We have some great stories and fabulous authors up for consideration.**

**Also, we have a new forum article up for your consideration at the forum by one of our fellow authors, Kricket Williams called, "The Art of the Tactful Review". Check it out! It's amazingly insightful. Look for new articles coming soon by some of your favorite writers on the CM site. Anyone that has an idea that THEY would like to write for the forum, please contact me.**

**As always, I invited you to join me and tons of other authors and readers over at Facebook. We're having a blast getting to know each other, encouraging each other and swapping ideas! Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction."**

**As always, we thank everyone for reading our stories. Reviews keep me motivated to keep going, so, if you have a moment drop a comment. Thanks again for following our work.**

* * *

**The Wheel Has Come Full Circle**

**Chapter Nine**

"Me either," Dave replied simply, clasping his hands together to keep from reaching for her. God, she looked forlorn sitting there beside him. He watched the indecision in her eyes doing battle with her heart, her doubts and fears shining in her bright gaze as she focused on the picture of them on the coffee table. Instinctively, he recognized that pushing her now would be a mistake...one that could cost him everything, so, he sat, still and silent beside her.

"I need to know, Dave...are you...I mean, were you in love with her?" JJ asked, the words wrenched from her throat as she held herself stiffly, bracing for the pain his answer could bring.

"No," Dave replied softly. "I loved her for the friend she was, JJ. For the forgiveness she offered me in spite of everything I put her through. But I didn't love her the way I love you. I never loved her the way I love you," he insisted with firm vehemence.

"You two didn't...you haven't..." JJ choked, unable to get the question past her lips.

"I've not looked at another woman since I walked out of your house six weeks ago, JJ," Dave replied calmly, not bothering to pretend he didn't know what she was asking. "In my heart, I didn't want to believe that we were over. And there's _no_ woman I want like I want you. Especially not that way."

Unable to speak, JJ nodded. "I know it isn't my business and I had no right to ask you," she whispered, "But, I had to know," she finally managed to say.

"I don't want any more lies between us," Dave replied gently, his shoulders relaxing slightly. "I can't prove what I'm telling you, but..."

"You don't need to. You wouldn't lie to me. Not about that," JJ denied with a small shake of her head as she lifted her eyes back to his. "I believe you." Tilting her head, she bit her lip. "This isn't going to be easy...but nothing worth having ever is, is it?"

"What are you saying, JJ?" Dave asked bluntly as his fingers dug into each other with enough force to break bone.

"I'm saying that on our unhappiest day together, it was better than every day we spent apart," JJ whispered, a hot tear dropping down her cheek.

"Yeah," Dave nodded in agreement, a harsh breath escaping his lips, "It was, Bella. It is," he breathed, unable to resist the urge to lift his hand and caress her cheek. "Any day with you and Henry is a hell of a lot better than one without you. I learned my lesson the hard way."

"I think we both did." JJ nodded against his hand. "I guess we've managed to spin our wheel full circle," she acknowledged weakly. "I'm dizzy...and tired...but, I think Henry and I are where we're supposed to be. Here, with you, if you still want us."

"Still want you?" Dave repeated incredulously. "I never stopped wanting either of you, Jen. I don't deserve either of you...I'm not even sure you realize what you're inviting back into your life," he murmured as he shook his head doubtfully. "There's never been a moment, though, that I haven't wanted to be in it."

"I want us," JJ said as she met his dark eyes, her voice stronger now. "I want the family we made together. I want that more than I want anything else. That family is stronger than my doubts and your fears. We just have to have faith in that and each other until it's easy to believe again."

"I love you, Jennifer. You and Henry," Dave responded unevenly, a wave of emotion slipping through him as he felt the air around him seem to thicken. "For six weeks, there's been this emptiness...I couldn't fill it with work...or scotch...nothing filled it until now. For the first time in a month and a half the ache doesn't sting so badly. You and that boy upstairs are my world."

Nodding, JJ leaned forward, pressing her lips to his before she could talk herself out of it. She needed to know if _it _was still there between them...that indefinable connection they'd had...that chemistry...that spark...

Gasping softly as her soft lips fell against his, he could feel the hesitation...that unspeakable fear of rejection. Lifting a shaking hand to cup her face, his mouth covered hers. The weeks slowly fell away as their lips met, mating gently at first, each tentative...each scared. And slowly the spark kindled, creating a burning flame between them as the kiss deepened and intensified, rocking each of them to their core as old feelings resurfaced, long denied need taking hold, threatening to scorch them both with its ferocity.

Shifting his hand from her cheek to bury in her hair, Dave groaned deeply as JJ's lips parted. Her tongue shocked him, sending a jolt of pleasure so pure it stung through him, when it slid forward to tangle with his. Shoving his surprise aside, he concentrated on the feel of her mouth against his, the sound of her strangled moan vibrating against his lips.

It was still there, JJ's mind rejoiced as her tongue danced with his, no reluctance now in their embrace, only joy. Gripping his shoulder, she tried to steady herself...to slow down. The world was spinning madly, though, and he was her rock...her stability. Smiling against his lips as he muttered, his disjointed words lapsing between English and Italian, she knew he was as desperate as she was.

Nothing would ever be simple with this man, but it no longer mattered. Love was messy and complicated...just like life. She'd made her peace with that. It could be as elusive, sliding in and out of your grasp. But when you held it, you had to hold on for dear life. Because this was the reward...the feeling of total completion. And she didn't want to lose it again.

Forcing herself to pull away, both of them breathing heavily, JJ met his gaze, dark now with passion. "We can't...I'm not ready to...," she began haltingly.

"It doesn't matter." Dave shook his head, touching her cheek gently. "I'll wait for as long as you need, JJ. You're here. That's all that matters to me."

Nodding, JJ rested her head against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her against his solid strength.

He was right; it didn't matter. In time, she'd be ready for intimacy again. For now, this was enough. She was back in his arms, and she never intended to be far from them again.

**Finis**

* * *

**A/N - Please, take a moment to let us know what you thought of this story.**


End file.
